1,000 Missing Dreams

Your eyes are twisted and scarred with the pain that can only be gained from 1000 miss­ing dreams. Out of sim­ple spit, you move your illu­sory queen to hit me, hard as gran­ite. I’ve trans­formed my mind into a cast because I know yours won’t last the night. In the dark, my eye­lids play that scene over and over in per­fect detail to make my soul freeze. My ears lis­ten to the quiet words that make me bleed. I know that you’ll never mourn this petty blood. I’ve sac­ri­ficed myself to stay alive in this mess of a world, yet your love still eludes cap­ture. In the fog, whis­per­ing voices call me to go. Frozen as the snow, I lis­ten. Now I see my face sketched on every milk car­ton, telling me, remind­ing me that you aren’t look­ing for me. Thus I was born deep inside from your hate­ful hopes. But your 1000 miss­ing dreams never came home, so I didn’t either. I know you won’t work hard to find me. I know your heart doesn’t drum to the beat of the same drum as mine. The lines don’t inter­sect, so I lost respect. You know that I’m not 100% human. But you’re a car­ni­vore, yes, that’s right, you eat meat. You sink your teeth into me every time I lie in bed. Naked. Eat­ing at my skull. Eat­ing at this dull shroud over my body that I put here so that you’ll think I’m gone. But I’m not. Don’t you feel the snow?

• Photo by Jako Jellema / Used with Per­mis­sion

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3. Alter­na­tives
4. Cashews
5. I’m Com­ing Home